![]() I was certain he could make the changes he agreed to. His team was in a constant state of whiplash as his panicked phone calls would often reset their entire agenda.Įighteen months earlier, I had communicated the serious nature of this chronic pattern. You knew he would agree to anything, but you never knew if you’d actually get it. He completed projects based on whoever was nagging him the most not on the importance to the business of the commitments he’d made. And yet Randy (which is not his real name) had shown himself to be entirely incompetent at managing people and projects. I hated the thought of the hardship that letting him go might cause. Furthermore, over the nine years he worked for me, his income had grown to the point that he would find it difficult to get comparable compensation. Not only did I like him, I also knew his income was crucial to his family. His work performance had made the conclusion inescapable for years, but he was so darned nice and likeable that I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I was in denial for about a year and a half before I admitted that I needed to fire Randy. But also muster enough humility to be interested in any facts or logic that might improve your conclusion. Think through your position enough to have confidence that it has merit. Explain out the logic you used to arrive where you did. ![]() Share the facts and premises that led you to your conclusion. Also, gather the facts about the situation and don’t by sharing your conclusion. Turn the other person from a villain to a human. Ask yourself: What do I really want for me? For the other person? For the relationship? For other stakeholders? Then, recognize and challenge the stories you tell yourself. There are several things you can do to prepare for any type of tricky conversation, whether it’s delivering tough feedback or negotiating a new role. But the primary predictor of success in a crucial conversation has less to do with how you use your mouth, and much more to do with what you do before you open it. And we all crave tactical advice about how to handle them, what to say, and what not to. Difficult conversations are, well, difficult.
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